You might be a Redneck if ...

You've ever paid for a 6-pack of beer with pennies.
There are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.
You have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.
You think paprika is a Third World country.
You ask the preacher, "How's it hanging?"
You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
You have a bumper sticker that says, "My mother's an honor student" at the local junior high.
You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.
You played the banjo in your high school band.
The velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.
You have no hubcaps on your car because you're using them to feed your hunting dogs.
You can't visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.
Your mother doesn't put on shoes to go grocery shopping.
You've ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.
You honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
Anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.
You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
You've ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.
Your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.
You've ever caught bugs just so you could throw them in the bug zapper.
You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.

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Last modified: October 7, 1996