Military performance reports

One liners taken from actual military performance reports:

• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
• This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
• When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
• He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
• He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
• Technically sound, but socially impossible.
• This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
• This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
• Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
• He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
• He has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.
• This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
• In my opinion, this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
• This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

Last modified: November 26, 1997